When I had my son at 10:04 pm on
January 7th, 1994, my life changed. My son, Quentin Reed Brown, “Q”
was born. He was the light of my life, and he will always be. On November 17,
2021 @ approximately 4:30am Q left this earth unexpectedly and seemingly
without reason. His life, however, will not be defined by those few minutes in
which he left us. I had 27 years, 434 days, and 4 ½ hours to have this life
blessed by Q. This is a celebration of Q’s life and is what he would have
wanted. Happiness, laughter and even those lessons we all learn. My life with
Q. as my son and friend has been the greatest joy of my life.
So, who was Q. as a person? I suppose
like all things it depended on whom you were talking. A few things from me:
We have called him Q since he was
little since he disliked his given name, Quentin. My friend and I went to bible
study and took Q. A arley drove up and we were stunned to see that it was Emmet
Smith of the Dallas Cowboys. My friend introduced us to Emmet. He picked Q. up
who was 3 at the time and said, “You are going to be one hell of a football
player, Q.” From that moment one, Quentin was called “Q”.
Q. loved sports-both playing and watching them.
Initially he played t-ball at 4 years old, but when he was 5, he entered the
PFL (Plano football league). As his mother, I would say he was adorable in his
uniform, but Q. and his friends took it quite seriously. We did a fundraiser
one year to help the boys play at the Cowboys Stadium. It still was one of the
highlights for Q who played PFL for the Cowboys. Q. won MVP for that game and
received a trophy. I remember that he was a bit embarrassed by the attention.
He told me that all his teammates were MVP’s. That’s kind of how Q. was. Always
humble in this way.
When Q was 10 years old, he found a
new sports passion by playing lacrosse When he was starting the coach asked him
which position, he wanted to play. Instead of being a middie, he said he wanted
to be in the defender position. His rationale to the coach: “Defense. I’d
rather hit than be hit.”
Q
was the eternal optimist. He was an avid fan of the Dallas Cowboys. Each time
they would come close to winning then not do so he’d say, “They just had a
tough game. They’ll win next game!”.
Q
had a goofy grin which was contagious. He wore that grin most of the time and
had a great witty sense of humor. It was hard to be around Q without laughing
out loud at his jokes. He loved to spend time with friends and family and just
laugh.
Admittedly,
Q liked to have a drink with family and friends. When he and I visited Portugal,
his favorite wine was called Porta 6 Red and favorite beer was Sagres. We drank
these together while we were there. There would always be black olives and
tapas to eat. In Porto we often drank this after a day of sightseeing. There
was a small café overlooking the Douro River. We could see the town over the river, Villa Nova de Gaia. It
was breathtaking. These moments with Q. are one of my best memories.
Q.
was easy to love as he was always kind and a terrific listener. He earned eagle
scout at 12 years old and subsequently earned bachelor’s in business admin. He
didn’t like to talk much about these accomplishments as he never wanted to
boast and avoided attention.
Q
and I shared a love of travel and explored the world…Costa Rica, Portugal, Italy,
France, Germany, Gibraltar, Spain/Andalusia, Austria, the Check Republic. We
would always “mix with the locals” by taking public transportation and staying
in lodging off the beaten track. Q. and I always loved that part of
traveling…getting to know the people, their food, and the culture. I remember
when we were in Cinque, Italy. The sun was setting, and Q. and I were perched
on a rock over looking the sea. He asked me why I was tearful. I said, “Right
now, this is the perfect moment.” That is how I want to remember Q.
When
Q was at home and leaving, he would always say, “Call me if you need me. I love you, Mom. You’re the best.” When Q.
entered adulthood, if I was leaving to go somewhere he would always say, “Give
me an up when you get there.” (He meant text him a thumbs up to let him know I
arrived safely). Over the years our relationship morphed into mother, son to a
deep friendship. We would talk about nothing, and we would talk about everything.
Q. was my best friend and I his.
Q’s
grandfather, my father, was the apple of Quentin’s eye. My father was Q’s
primary male role model. He spent countless hours with him. My dad taught Q.
how to ride a bike, go fishing, camping, you name it.
Q.
was Native American on his biological father’s side. As he got older, he began
carrying his Bureau of Indian Affairs card to show others the proof. We would
always laugh saying that people didn’t realize he was a descendent in the
Muskogee Nation.
Q.
loved women in the best sense of the word. He would talk with me about the
latest woman he was dating. For Q. it was always about what was on the inside.
I told him that it was his decision on who to date, but that the important
thing was that he treated each woman with kindness and respect.
Q
loved serving in the Army. I think one of the primary reasons was that he felt
such a sense of comradery with his friends. Admittedly, I did not want Q. to go
enlisted Infantry. I knew from my brother’s time in the Marines what a toll it
takes on one’s body. The thing is it wasn’t my decision to make. My role with
Q. as a parent was to support and love him. I hope he knows that I tried to do
this.
So, to Q. Let’s close
this chapter my dear boy. It is not goodbye forever. It is just goodbye for
now. We had talked about moving to Portugal and were learning the language. So,
I will say to Q, “Goodbye for now my son. I love you.” “Adeus por agora, meu
filho. Eu amo-te.”
