I have not written for some time now. I attribute this to
the busyness of life. Most importantly, my mother passed away. This was a
blessing as her dementia had taken her. She was not herself when she passed.
Her body was present; however, her soul had departed. There were strange family
dynamics, but I survived the test and feel that I presented myself with
kindness and dignity.
I put off my move to Portugal for now due to the Covid
pandemic. I decided to purchase a home in El Paso, Texas. The high desert suits
me. There are mountains near my home. In the early evening I go on my patio
with my glass of wine. I view those majestic those mountains. I close out the day as the sunset is a
vibrant red, purple and yellow. I am filled with gratitude for the blessings in
my life.
My son, Q, got home from Syria as did his company. I am so
thankful that all of them are back. It’s a strange feeling when you have a son
in a combat zone. At the best they gain valuable experience as they are embedded
in a culture which is not their own. At worst they are in combat. I wonder if
these experiences affect my son. He told me that when he sees a box or bag near
the road the thinks it is a IED (improvised explosive device). My heart skipped
a beat when he told me this.
I began working full time again. Although my work can be
challenging, I love the fact that I can help others in their time of need. Working gets me outside of myself which is a
good thing.
My psychiatrist offered to continue to “see”” me virtually.
Dr. Nair is the real deal. He acts as a consultant to ensure my meds are
working for my bipolar disorder. Fortunately for me I am experiencing less
highs and lows. My mood has flattened but that is okay. Taking my meds is an
essential part of my wellness.
I will close for now. It is time to sleep and rejuvenate. I list
those things I am grateful for every time I go to sleep and then awake. Doing
so allows me to focus on mindfulness. The only thing that matters is the
present. I am grateful for this.
