My pain, my loss...

 

Since the death of my son, I’ve felt detached with the exception of a few moments. It is my way of dealing with my grief. It is deeply troubling. Almost always unbearably painful. Oftentimes people say, “Well, it’s a nice day. Let’s get on with it.” Is this the way to behave or to let myself drown in the pain, embarrassed that I have let myself go too far?

My son’s death has somehow separated me from the outside world. I’ve become more introverted. I did not, I do not, know how I can describe this loss in words. So often I don’t. I made a promise to myself that I would never forget him. I just made a promise.  I largely live my life secretly, for both of us.